August 27, 2010

my parents

this is my favorite picture of my parents.


we think it is when they had just found out they were expecting their third child. it’s just so cute to me.

I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately. just last Sunday, I bawled my eyes out when I looked at the date on the church bulletin and realized it had been 12 years since my mom had passed away. I blame a large part of that on hormones – the other part on an extremely tender heart. (and just for those who know me, i’ve barely cried at all during this pregnancy. weird.)

today I cried again. my doctor’s appointment had been moved to a new office – at the hospital where we will be having Chloe. i wasn’t prepared to be going to that hospital yet. in fact, i showed up to my appointment at the wrong office not knowing that when they had rescheduled my appointment the location had also been changed. so, i had no time to mentally brace myself for going to that hospital.

i refer to it as that hospital because it is the facility where those two bright and happy people in the picture lost their battles in this life. (mom in 98, dad in 08) 

i cried as i waited to see the doctor thinking about the countless hours i had spent in that facility under such different circumstances. i cried because i have been thinking about my parents and how absolutely mind-blowingly different life would be right now if they were still living. i cried thinking that Chloe would be ushered into our lives in the same place that my parents were ushered out of our lives. these weren’t big, bellowy tears. just simple thoughts trickling from my mind as i allowed myself to relinquish them. 

part of me loves the thought of having her there. like they are somehow connected. and part of me dreads it with my every fiber. i know it is just me being silly and hormonal – because really it is just a building. i know that everything will be perfectly happy and wonderful when she arrives, come what may. however, these days, i just can’t get them off my mind.

i think that may be perfectly natural. to want to tune in to your own parents when you are on the brink of becoming one yourself. not that we do not have amazing resources in other family and friends – it’s just that i feel this urge to want to know from my own parents. again, i think that is a natural thought and quite possibly another step in that ever-so-lovely grieving process.

it gets easier, but it never seems to go away. grieving is such a strange process. it can be so painful yet create so much joy too.

funny how life’s little incidences scream God. i love watching that work.

watching Him work.

August 24, 2010

chloe’s room – in progress

it has taken us a few weeks to get this far, but i would say we are running way ahead with our schedule. my goal was to have the room finished by Halloween since school stays crazy from around that time until Christmas. at this rate, we will be finished by Labor Day. here’s a peek at what we have done so far.
first, the room was known as the “black hole” or jacob’s mancave, aka the star wars room. painting over the black was a little intimidating but that new paint and primer in one did the trick. two normal coats and the black was gone!

well, at least on the bottom. so, we halted things to order the bedskirt and choose a color for the top half of the room.

isn’t it bright and happy? but we weren’t finished yet. we added the board and batten Sunday afternoon.
i couldn’t resist getting the furniture into place to get a feel for how the room will be arranged.
it will be another couple of weeks before we do any more. it may take that long for jacob to recover before putting the bed together.
chloe’s fairy-grandmother is ordering the rest of the bedding. it should be here next week when she comes to visit.

accessories have been nabbed from around the house and other things have been repurposed. i have plenty of little projects that i will be posting later. those probably will not get done until fall break though. ah, it does feel nice to have the bulk of the work done though.

*please excuse the horrid variation in picture color/lighting. i didn’t feel like editing them to look a little more the same with the differences in sunlight and boring indoor light. :)

August 9, 2010

nursery inspiration

Well, we did actually start on the nursery a couple of weeks ago, but things have been put on hold with the beginning of the school year. Setting up my classroom and getting ready for those kiddos has taken precedence over our little bit’s space.  

In the meantime, here are a few pictures to show what direction we are headed with our baby girl’s room. Originally, I had planned to have the bedding made by a relative, but it proved to difficult a task to even choose the fabric! Then, I found this bedding that incorporated the colors I wanted. I wasn’t exactly crazy about this bedding choice at first but it has most definitely grown on me the more I look at it. Now, I love it more and more each time I see it. I will probably only let the big dots show on the bumper and crib skirt and keep the comforter turned over to show the little dots.

target_dot fun bedding

The room definitely needed a new coat of paint – or a few coats of paint. The walls were black and the trim grey. Valspar paint with the primer in it is amazing – it covered the black in two coats! This is the look we are going for but the top color will be a different, probably blue.

And the one thing that inspired the whole look for the room is the Ikea fabler canopy. I’ve just absolutely fallen in lust with it. Isn’t so cute?
To get a better view of it, check out this picture on flickr. Ric-rac, polka dots, and bright….who wouldn’t love it?

I have several other ideas rolling around in my head but I have to get these big things out of the way before I proceed with them. We are SO blessed to have gotten both the crib and older PB rocker from my sister. For the changing table, we are using a dresser that was mine growing up. And of course, I have enjoyed being frugal with the baby decor and renovations. Cutting corners on cost is always a big challenge that I enjoy for some reason.  It sure helps to be so blessed by generous friends and family. Our baby girl will still have an amazing life and surroundings. We are excited to be setting up both of those for her. Christmas come early, please! 

*images: dwellstudio for target dot fun, board and batten flickr, ikea children’s department